Highlighters are maps, not paint.

Think of the words you use with a child as the tools you leave on their desk when they leave the room: small, steady things that help them find their way back when the hallways feel confusing. I often tell teachers, "Highlighters are maps, not paint." By that I mean the phrases we give children should show them where they are, what’s next, and that they aren’t alone—rather than trying to cover over feelings or make problems disappear. When a student is upset, embarrassed, or angry, a short, clear phrase can act like a bright line on a page: it points to a place to step, not a cover-up that hides what’s true. As a childhood development enthusiast, I’ve watched simple language change a classroom climate: kids who know a few reliable phrases from adults learn to name feelings, ask for help, and try small steps instead of shutting down. Use calm tone, steady eye contact, and a little patience; the words are the map, but your calmness is the compass that helps them read it.

Below are compact phrases that work like map markers. They are short enough for a child to remember and strong enough to guide a next move: - "I see you. Tell me more." - "That sounds really hard." - "You’re learning. Mistakes mean growth." - "One step at a time." - "Would you like help or time?" - "It’s okay to feel angry/sad/confused." - "You handled part of it well." - "Let’s try a small plan together." - "Name the feeling: is it big or small?" - "Breathe with me for twenty seconds." - "You’re not alone in this." - "What’s one tiny next thing?"

After you use a phrase, follow it with a tiny, practical next step—another reason the map image fits. If a student says, "I can’t do this," reply, "I hear you. One step at a time—what’s the first tiny thing?" Then help them pick something achievable, like writing one sentence or drawing for a minute. If a child is overwhelmed by friendships or family worries, a validating phrase like "That sounds really hard" lowers their heat and makes space for problem-solving. Teach these lines to students too: when kids learn to say, "I need a break" or "Can we talk later?" they begin to map their own needs. Keep the language consistent across adults in the school—consistency is the pathway that turns a few phrases into reliable routes children can trust. I’m not a doctor or therapist, but these simple, repeated phrases create safer classrooms where kids can learn to read their feelings and find the next step forward.