Share the remote, share the fun.

Sometimes a small thing like the TV remote can feel like the biggest problem in the world, but it’s also a perfect chance to practice being fair, calm, and kind. When you’re seven or fourteen, learning to share space, choices, and feelings matters as much as learning to read or ride a bike. From our perspective as parents, a few short, simple phrases can change the way a disagreement goes — they help everyone feel heard, teach compromise, and keep fights from turning into long, hurtful arguments. We want you to know how to use words to solve problems, not make them bigger.

Start with phrases that slow things down and show respect. When someone says, “Can I have a turn?” or “I want to watch this,” answer with “I hear you” or “Tell me why that’s important to you.” Naming emotions helps too: “You sound really excited about this show” or “I can see you’re frustrated.” Those sentences don’t solve everything, but they make people feel understood, which lowers anger and makes clear thinking possible. For us parents, modeling calm language and breathing with you is key — we’ll say, “Let’s take three deep breaths,” and then we’ll figure it out together.

Next, offer clear, fair solutions. Kids respond well to rules they can follow, like timers, turns, or choices. Say things like “Your turn next” or “We’ll set the timer for 20 minutes,” and follow through. If someone is older or has extra responsibilities, explain that too: “You can pick first because you helped with dinner.” Being honest about why a decision is fair builds trust. Teaching negotiation helps children practice empathy: “If you let her pick now, you can choose two shows later.”

Here are some short phrases that we find really helpful in the moment — keep them simple and use them often: - “I hear you.” “Tell me more.” “Your turn next.” “Let’s set a timer.” “I’m proud of you for waiting.” “That’s not fair; let’s figure it out.” “Would you like option A or option B?” “I can help you calm down.” “Thank you for sharing.” “We’ll try it again tomorrow.”

Those phrases are powerful because they do three things: they name feelings, they offer structure, and they praise effort. Saying “Thank you for sharing” or “I’m proud of you” reinforces the behavior you want to see without nagging. Offering two choices gives kids control while keeping decisions manageable. And using “Let’s” instead of “You must” invites cooperation rather than control.

Finally, remember that mistakes are practice. If someone yells or grabs, adults should step in calmly, help everyone cool off, and then guide a redo: “Let’s try that again with words.” Over time, these small sentences become habits. The remote gets shared, sure — but more importantly, kids learn how to be fair, listen, and solve problems together. That’s the real reward.