Say sorry fast; fix it faster.
When things go sideways with friends, siblings, or teachers, the fastest path back to feeling better usually starts with a simple, honest apology. As a parent, I want you to know that saying sorry quickly doesn’t mean you’re weak or always at fault — it means you care about the person you hurt and want to fix the moment before it grows into something bigger. Kids your age are learning how to manage strong feelings and relationships, and practicing short, true apologies helps you learn responsibility, calm down faster, and keep friendships from breaking.
A quick apology doesn’t have to be complicated. Keep it clear, name what happened, and say you’re sorry. For example, instead of hiding, storming off, or saying “I didn’t mean it,” try something simple and direct. Here are a few short phrases you can use when you feel ready: - “I’m sorry I pushed you. That was wrong. Are you okay?” After that, offer to fix what you can — pick up the spilled books, share the game turn, or promise to listen next time. Actions matter as much as words, and doing something to repair the hurt shows you meant it.
Sometimes you’ll feel too angry, embarrassed, or scared to say sorry right away. That’s okay. Take a breath, count to five, and give yourself permission to pause. Then come back when you can speak calmly. Waiting a little is better than saying something you’ll regret. Also, avoid those tricky phrases that sound like apologies but aren’t, like “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “If I hurt you…” Those can make the other person feel blamed. Saying the person’s name and what you did — “Maya, I’m sorry I took your pencil without asking” — helps the apology feel real.
If the hurt is big, one short sorry might not be enough. Be patient, listen to how the other person feels, and don’t expect instant forgiveness. Sometimes fixing things takes time, extra kindness, and proving you’ve changed. And don’t forget your own feelings: apologizing doesn’t erase your emotions. It’s okay to explain how you felt before you acted, but don’t use that as an excuse. You can say, “I was frustrated and I reacted badly — I’m sorry.”
We adults are still practicing this too, so I try to apologize to you when I mess up. Modeling quick, sincere apologies helps you learn how to do it. When you say sorry fast and mean it, you build trust, learn responsibility, and get back to playing and learning sooner. Mistakes are normal — what matters most is how you fix them.