Be the extra pair of hands.

Some days feel heavy for kids — a test that didn’t go well, a fight with a friend, or just one of those mornings when nothing seems fun. As a parent, being the extra pair of hands means more than doing chores or solving problems for you; it means showing up in ways that make hard moments smaller and teach you how to handle them next time. We don’t fix everything, and we aren’t perfect, but we can offer steady help, clear words, and simple actions that build confidence and calm.

Being the extra pair of hands often starts with the right words and the right kind of help. Instead of saying “Let me know if you need me,” we say things like “I’ll help you for ten minutes” or “I’ll be here while you try.” Those promises feel real because they are specific. Small offers — helping sort homework, holding a backpack while you tie your shoe, making a snack — say loudly: you’re not alone. Physical help is useful, but so is emotional help: naming feelings (“You look really disappointed”) and giving a safe place to feel them (“You can cry here if you need to”) teach kids that all feelings are okay.

Here are short, simple phrases you can use that have big impact: - “I’m right here. We’ll figure this out together.” - “Want me to sit with you while you do that?” - “You don’t have to be perfect. Try, and I’ll help after.” - “Tell me one thing that’s worrying you, and we’ll start there.” - “It’s okay to feel this way. I’ll stay until it passes.” - “Let’s take a break and come back with fresh eyes.” - “If you want, I’ll call for help or we’ll make a plan together.” - “I’m proud of you for trying.”

Use these phrases with action. If you say “I’ll help,” actually help. If you say “We’ll figure this out,” ask one simple question and listen — not to jump in, but to understand. For children ages 7–14, offering a choice is powerful: “Do you want me to help now or in 20 minutes?” That small control helps them feel capable even when things are hard. Also, invite them to be the extra pair of hands for others. Helping a sibling pick up toys, writing a kind note for a friend, or holding a door open are concrete ways they learn empathy and build their own resilience.

Finally, remember to model how to ask for help. Say out loud when you need a hand and accept it graciously. Kids learn that needing help is normal and brave. Being an extra pair of hands isn’t about doing everything for them; it’s about steady presence, clear promises, and tiny actions that teach kids they have resources inside themselves and people beside them when life gets tough.