Share credit, keep lessons.

Hey there — when things are hard, it helps to have a simple rule to follow: share the credit, keep the lessons. That means when things go well, celebrate the people who helped you; when things don’t go the way you hoped, hold on to what you learned and let the rest go. As a mentor, I’ve seen how this little habit can keep friendships strong, make teams better, and help you grow without getting stuck feeling embarrassed or angry.

Sharing credit doesn’t make your effort smaller — it shows that you notice others and that you’re brave enough to be generous. If you and a friend work on a project that wins, say, “We did this together — great teamwork!” If someone compliments you, you can smile and add, “Thanks — my team helped a lot.” That makes others feel valued and keeps you humble. Keeping lessons means you quietly collect what helped and what didn’t. After something goes wrong, ask yourself, “What did I try? What worked a little, and what can I try differently next time?” That question turns disappointment into a plan instead of letting it become blame or shame.

When emotions are loud, words help calm them. Short, simple phrases can change the way you react. Use kind phrases for yourself when things are tough, and kind phrases for others when things go well. You don’t have to be perfect at this — you only need to try. Over time, saying the right things will change how you feel inside: you’ll notice pride without bragging, and lessons without beating yourself up. It’s okay to be proud and still say thank you, and it’s okay to fail and still believe you can get better.

Here are a few short phrases you can try when things feel big. Pick one or two and use them this week to see how they make things feel different: - “Thanks — we did it together.” “I tried my best.” “I’ll learn from this.” “What can I try next?” “I’m proud of our team.” “That helped me — thank you.” “It’s okay to ask for help.” “I’m still learning.”

Remember, sharing credit builds trust and joy with others. Keeping lessons builds strength inside you. If you practice both, you’ll find that hard moments become places where you collect new tools for next time instead of reasons to give up. Try saying one of the phrases aloud after your next game, test, argument, or funny mistake — and notice what shifts. I’m cheering for you as you share the win and keep the wisdom.