Reflect, then redirect.
Sometimes when things feel big and messy, the best first step is to stop and look closely. As your mentor, I want you to know that pausing doesn't mean you are weak — it means you are wise. Reflection is a tiny superpower: it helps you notice what is happening inside (your thoughts, your feelings, your body) and outside (what someone said, what went wrong) before you rush into something you might regret. Start by taking a slow breath and asking yourself a few quiet questions: What just happened? What am I feeling right now? Where do I feel it in my body — my chest, my stomach, my shoulders? Saying these things out loud or in your head is a way of stepping back so your feelings don't push you around. You are allowed to feel upset, angry, or scared — those feelings are signals, not commands.
After you reflect, give yourself the power to redirect. Redirecting is choosing a small, kind action that helps you move forward instead of getting stuck. It doesn't have to solve everything at once. Sometimes redirecting looks like asking for a break, writing down one thing you can do next, or saying a calm phrase to a friend or yourself. Practicing short phrases can be like carrying a tiny toolkit in your pocket; they help you steady your breathing, remind you of the truth, and invite kinder choices. Try these when things get hard:
- "I can pause and think." / "This feeling will pass." / "I did one good thing today." / "I can ask for help." / "I am learning, not perfect."
Use reflection to understand the why, and redirecting to choose the how. If you had an argument with a friend, reflect on what upset you and whether you misunderstood each other. Then redirect by saying, "Can we talk? I want to understand." If school feels overwhelming, reflect on which part is hardest — the work, the time, or the fear of being judged — then redirect by breaking the task into a tiny step, like reading one page or asking a teacher one question. If you're angry, reflect by naming the anger, feeling it in your body, and then redirect by walking away for two minutes or squeezing a stress ball while counting slowly.
Remember, redirecting doesn't mean ignoring your feelings or pretending everything's fine. It means giving yourself a safer path. Be patient with yourself when you make a mistake — that is often the most important lesson. Over time, reflecting will become faster and redirecting will feel natural. Keep practicing, and treat every small success as proof that you can handle hard moments. I'm proud of you for trying, and you're never alone in learning how to reflect, then redirect.