Kindness scales; use it often.

Sometimes the smallest thing you say can change a whole day. Think of kindness like a set of scales you carry around — you can make a tiny gesture that tips the balance a little, or a bigger one that helps someone feel steadier when they’re wobbling. As your mentor, I want to share easy, powerful phrases you can use for yourself and for others. They don’t have to fix everything. They simply remind people they’re seen, they’re safe, and they’re not alone. Saying them often trains your heart and your words to be helpful in hard times.

When someone is upset, the first job is to be present. You don’t always need a solution. Simple statements help your friend settle enough to listen or to cry if they need to. Try short, steady words: “I’m here,” “Tell me what happened,” or “That sounds really hard.” If you’re not sure what to say, ask a gentle question like “Do you want a hug or space?” That gives them control when everything else feels out of control. If you’re the one feeling overwhelmed, try speaking kindly to yourself: “It’s okay to feel this,” “I did my best,” or “I’ll take one small step.” Self-kindness is a superpower that gets stronger with practice.

Kindness also works in layers. On some days someone might only need a smile or a quick “You’re doing okay,” and other days they might need a longer talk, an apology, or someone to help with a real problem. Match your words to what’s needed — that’s using the scales. When you’ve made a mistake, a simple “I’m sorry” and “I’ll try to do better” makes big repairs. When someone succeeds, a phrase like “I’m proud of you” can mean more than a trophy. Small phrases stack up into trust, and trust makes people feel safer to try again.

Here are short phrases you can save and use whenever the moment fits: - “I see you,” “I hear you,” “You matter,” “It’s okay to feel that,” “Would you like to talk?” “I’m proud of you,” “I’m sorry,” “How can I help?”

Practice these phrases out loud so they become natural. Watch how they land: do people look relieved? Do they soften? That feedback helps you learn when to be quiet and when to speak. Remember, kindness isn’t only about comfort — it’s about honesty, respect, and action. If someone needs help, follow through. If someone needs space, respect it. Use your kindness scales often; it’s one of the best tools you’ll ever own to lift others and yourself through tough days.