Respect the refs and the rules.

Listen up, team — the game isn’t just about the scoreboard. As your coach, I want you to know that respecting the refs and the rules is one of the strongest things you can do for yourself and your teammates. When a decision doesn’t go your way, it’s easy to feel upset, angry, or unfairly treated. Those feelings are real and okay. What matters is what you do with them. Respecting the referees and following the rules helps the whole team play better, keeps everyone safe, and shows who you are when the lights are bright and the game gets tough. It also gives you the chance to practice something huge but simple: emotional strength. That doesn’t mean you have to pretend you’re okay — it means choosing actions that help you stay calm, learn, and lead.

Here are short, powerful phrases you can use in the moment to keep things together. They’re quick to say and help you control the game inside your head so you can play better on the field or court: - "I hear you, referee. Thanks." / "Okay, I’ll try again." / "I’ll learn from that." / "Help me understand, coach?" / "We keep going." / "Breathe — reset."

Using any of these lines shows everyone you’re focused on what matters: the team and the play. Saying “I hear you” or “Thanks” to a ref doesn’t mean you agree with every call — it means you’re choosing respect over argument. Saying “I’ll learn from that” turns a mistake into a moment that helps you grow. “Help me understand, coach?” lets you get better without letting frustration take over. And “Breathe — reset” is a tiny timeout you can give yourself to calm down so your next move is smart, not angry.

Practice these phrases in warm-ups, on the sideline, and at home. When you use them, others notice — your teammates feel safer, opponents respect you more, and refs are less likely to be distracted by drama. You’ll also find that when you show respect and control, you start to get it back in return. That doesn’t mean every call will be fair, but it means you walk off the field proud, knowing you handled yourself like a leader. Remember, the best players aren’t the ones who never make mistakes; they’re the ones who face them without losing their head. Keep practicing respect, and you’ll see your game—and yourself—get stronger every time.